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Out of the Mouths of Babes...

An elderly woman and  her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent  the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their  cheeks painted by a local artist who was
decorating them with tiger  paws.  "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the  line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his  head.

His grandmother knelt  down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always  wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's  cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"  The boy looked up, "Really?"

"Of course," said the grandmother.  "Why, just name me one  thing that's prettier than freckles."The little boy thought for a  moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly  whispered, "Wrinkles."


A grandmother was telling her little  granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on  a pond.  I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our  front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries  in the woods."  The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.  At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you  sooner!"


My grandson was visiting one day when he  asked, Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally  polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both  old," he replied.


I didn't know  if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I  would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and  always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she  headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to  figure out some of these yourself!"

When my  grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."   "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised."Mine says I'm four."


A  Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher ask! ed if anyone could tell  her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall  not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife,"


Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father  about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under  the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him  wide-eyed.  In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What  caused the submarine to sink?"  With a look of incredulity Mark  replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"


A second grader came home from school and  said to her mother, "Mom, guess what?  We learned how to make babies  today."  The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her  cool.  "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make  babies?"   "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add 'es'."

Why wouldn't an English teacher love that  one???


"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?"  she asked.  "Sure, said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a  child."


A nursery school teacher was  delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck  zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.  "They use him to keep crowds back," said one  youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third  child brought the argument to a close..."They use the dogs", she said  firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

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