Teach the Older Men to be Worthy of Respect

Who do you think of when you think of older men?

When you’re a kid, your grandpa is definitely an older man. The new guys going into the hall of fame, they are older men. Is there an exact age when a man becomes an older man?

{sidebar id=1}Not really, but I am going to pick one. I’m going to say that when a man reaches 40, he becomes an older man. By the time a man reaches 40 his life should be stable and grounded. He should have gained a lot of wisdom over the years, and it should show. The follies of youth should be a distant memory.

Titus 2:2 says, “Teach the older men to be…worthy of respect.”

That’s the NIV. The King James Version uses the word “grave.” The older men are to be “grave.” Other versions say venerable, serious and dignified. So the older men are to be worthy of respect, and they need to be taught.

The first question is, worthy of whose respect? It doesn’t say, so here is what I think. We should live worthy of the respect of both Christians and non-Christians.* So what does it take to earn the respect of all these people?

Let’s start with the first thing people notice – your appearance.

“Wait a minute, Doug. People aren’t supposed to judge me by my appearance.”

Well, they do, and there is such a thing as looking respectable. If you don’t look respectable, people are far less likely to respect you. By the time they reach 40, most men have the basics down. Be clean. Take care of your hair and your teeth. Don’t stink.

Sometimes older men still want to dress like younger men. Maybe it’s a midlife crisis. I’ve seen women do the same. This is a good way to lose people’s respect. Dress like someone worthy of respect and you are more likely to receive respect. If you are ever in doubt, just ask people. Does this make me look respectable?

“Maybe I don’t want to look respectable.” Maybe you don’t. That’s why the Bible says it must be taught. “Teach the older men to be…worthy of respect.”

What do you drive? Where do you live? You don’t have to be rich to be respectable, but you do have to take care of what you have. If you want to be respected, you and your stuff must look respectable.

After people get past your appearance, the next thing they notice is whatever comes out of your mouth. First of all, eliminate any cursing or foul language. I’m still surprised to hear older men cussing like they did when they were teenagers. It’s bad enough for kids, but for an older man – it costs you a lot of respect. When an older man talks dirty or even speaks with racy overtones, it costs him respect.

“But everyone laughed!” So maybe they laughed, but they don’t respect you for it.

{sidebar id=1}A respectable man holds his tongue. He doesn’t blurt things out. He doesn’t rattle on every chance he gets. Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, sin is not absent…”

A respectable person never deceives. Their word is their bond. Their yes means yes and their no means no. Many older men still operate in the netherworld of the fine print. The big print gives it to you, and the little print takes it away. But the respectable man states the truth loud and clear, with no quibbling.

Some older men brag about their accomplishments. They hope to gain respect this way, but bragging costs you respect.

Some older men complain about their problems. Complaining is never respectable.

Something else about our speech, some older men have never worked on their grammar. Who respects an older man with bad grammar? Work on it.

After people notice how you look and how you speak, next they will pay attention to what you do. Now let me go back. If you don’t look or speak like a respectable person, people won’t pay attention to how you act. They already wrote you off as unrespectable. That may not sound fair, but it’s the way it is.

To behave respectably is a big subject, too much to tackle now. But if you practice the book of Proverbs you will go a long way toward being respectable.

I heard an older man say one day, “I shouldn’t have to earn respect at my age.” Well, the thing about respect is, you always have to earn it. Every time you encounter new people, you must earn their respect.

But the good news is that if you really are a respectable person, people will notice. It will be obvious. Your appearance, your words and your actions will all send a consistent message that you are worthy of respect.

Comments?

E-mail me: dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today! With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.

* I partly get that from First Peter 2:12 which says to “live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.”

Some other points, but not inclusive – a respectable person:

--walks his talk, is not hypocritical
--respects himself and respects others
--is not a quitter
--plans ahead
--works hard, is not lazy
--loves and trains his children

This article originally published on February 25, 2008.

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