By Doug Apple Manager, Wave94

This Really Is Next to Godliness

Okay, here is a question for you.

Which student is going to do better in school, the kid with the higher IQ, or the kid with more self-control?

The answer is:  the student with more self-control.

That’s according to Angela Lee Duckworth at the University of Pennsylvania.  She experimented with 8th graders by telling them they could have one dollar now or two dollars next week.  The students who had the self-control to wait for the two dollars turned out to be the same students who performed better academically.

That’s similar to an experiment conducted at Stanford back in the 60’s.  They offered small children a marshmallow now, or two marshmallows if they could wait while the adult stepped out for a moment.  Over the years they found that the children with more self-control ended up doing better in school and professionally.

Last year New Yorker magazine tracked down two of those kids, a brother and a sister.  The brother who lacked self-control and gobbled down his one marshmallow ended up bouncing around doing a lot of different jobs.  The sister who was able to wait for the second marshmallow ended up getting her Ph.D. from Princeton.*

The conclusion?  Duckworth said, “Intelligence is really important, but it’s still not as important as self-control.”

“Well Doug, I would love to have more self-control, but how?”

Here is what the experimenters found with the children and the marshmallows.  The kids with more self-control did things to take their mind off the marshmallow sitting in front of them.  Some turned their back.  Some covered their eyes.  Some even crawled under the desk.

That is an excellent tip for all of us.  If you want more self-control in an area, then distract yourself, get your mind off the alternatives.

I run into this all the time when I am running.  About three times a week I go for a jog through my neighborhood.  It’s basically a figure 8, so at one point I run past the road that goes back to my house.  It’s like a tempting little shortcut.  “The pain could be over.  End it now.  Go home.  Turn right.  Turn right!”

The best thing I can do is to not think about it at all.  I try to get my mind on something else entirely, and the next thing I know, my run is over and I didn’t even think about the shortcut.

A great way to more self-control is to think about the end result you want instead of the immediate gratification.  I look into the future at two alternatives, a nice flat stomach or a big round one flopped over my belt.  That right there is enough to boost my self-control and keep me running.

So what makes the difference between those who have self-control and those who don’t?  One researcher calls it “strategic allocation of attention.”  Again, it boils down to what you allow yourself to think about.  If you focus on how good a Krispy Kreme donut will taste right before it greases its way down your gullet, then you’re probably going to end up at the Krispy Kreme counter.  But if you focus on that flat stomach, then your Krispy Kreme dreams will evaporate.

{sidebar id=1}This is what researchers have discovered about self-control.  I’ve shared two observations:  one, that self-control is even more important than intelligence; and two, that self-control comes down to what you allow yourself to think about.

So why am I talking about self-control?  Because the Bible talks about self-control.

Have you ever heard the phrase “cleanliness is next to godliness”?  Well that is not in the Bible, but you could make a good case for this phrase, “self-control is next to godliness.”

In Second Peter 1:6 we find a list of attributes, and right there near godliness is self-control.

In Galatians 5, self-control is listed as a fruit of the Spirit.

The Bible says that church leaders are to be “self-controlled.”

Paul told Titus to teach the older men to be self-controlled; and the younger men.  The older women are to teach the younger women to be self-controlled.

Now listen to this.  Self-control propels you farther.  Where do you want to go?  Self-control will get you there faster.

When I was a kid we played with Hot Wheels, which were cool little cars.  Yes, you could push them and watch them go across the floor, but they always turned this way or that, curving in who-knows-what direction.  They lacked control.

But if you put them on a long orange strip of Hot Wheels track – now they’re going somewhere!  They can go a long way with just that tiny bit of control you get from the edge on the track.

That’s the way self-control works in our life.  We can go so much farther so much faster with just a little bit of self-control.

And remember, self-control is not just a good idea.  It’s not out of some self-help book from the Oprah book club.

Self-control is in the Bible, and when you look it up, this is what you will find.

Self-control really is next to godliness.

Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.

*  http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=1

This article originally published on March 23, 2010.

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