I’m going to have to give a little parental guidance warning on today’s Apples of Gold as I discuss an issue that is definitely not for children, even though it was printed up big and bold in today’s newspapers all over the country.
And that’s the disturbing part. This advice could be read by millions of people who think it is good advice because it is so widespread. There will certainly be many young people who read this advice and decide to live by it.
I’m especially disturbed on behalf of young women in this country. I am raising three daughters, and I’m disturbed on behalf of them. I’m disturbed on behalf of my nieces and future granddaughters. Where is this country headed when advice like this is considered good, family-friendly, print-it-in-your-local-newspaper-for-all-to-read advice?
The advice column I’m referring to is Annie’s Mailbox, which took the place of Ann Landers. You might find it in your local newspaper next to the comics or the crossword puzzle; I mean, how all-American can you get?
In today’s column a female wrote in about her boyfriend. She was deeply disturbed because her boyfriend of two years revealed that he had been having… now is the time to turn off the radio if you have children with you. She was disturbed because her boyfriend was having… rape fantasies.
Now what would you tell your daughter if she told you that? Mom, what advice would you give her – because that’s what she is looking for, some good old-fashioned motherly wisdom.
But she can’t go to her own mother or other family members, she said, because of the nature of the topic. She would not be comfortable discussing it with them, so she reached out to Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, the ladies who write Annie’s Mailbox.
Kathy and Marcy look like they would give good motherly advice. In their byline photos they appear to be middle-aged white women, perhaps soccer moms with great treasure troves of wisdom.
So when I read their advice, I was shocked that it was even written by women. It sounded like advice from a guy in a trench coat outside a dirty bar.
Now I ask again, what advice would you give your daughter if she said that her boyfriend was having rape fantasies?
I know what I would say. Get out of Dodge! I would say, “Dump him, as fast as you can.”
An overreaction? Well listen, what kind of a guy do you want your daughter to be with? What if he said he had daydreams about robbing banks? What if he fantasized about cutting throats? What if he simply said, “You know what I think about a lot? Not that I would ever do it or anything, but I sure think a lot about punching girls in the nose.”
Even daydreams about punching girls in the nose is worth dumping him for. Is that too hard to see?
But rape is not even on the same planet as a punch in the nose. It is one of the worst crimes known to man.
And now you hear that it is a common fantasy of your daughter’s boyfriend. What is your advice?
Well here is the advice that was given in newspapers across the nation today. They advised her not to overreact, that it was not uncommon, and that her boyfriend doesn’t really want to hurt her. It’s just what turns him on.
I was stunned. I had to reread it. I couldn’t believe that two women would take it so lightly. But they weren’t done. They had one more incredible suggestion.
This is going to blow your mind. And remember, this isn’t some sleazy rag passed out in dark alleys in the inner city. It’s not a dirty website dispensing insanity to everyone who drops by. This is in community newspapers large and small for all to read, right there in the family fun section of the paper.
Also keep in mind that this woman was disturbed by her boyfriend’s revelation. She was so disturbed that she looked to see if he was on the national sex offender registry. That is how much it creeped her out.
And yet what was Kathy and Marcy’s suggestion? Why not role play with him? He is fantasizing about raping someone, so just go ahead and let him rape you. I mean, if you are willing of course.
I would say I was speechless, but obviously I’m not. I can’t think of enough bad things to say about this advice. I am shocked. I am disgusted. I am disturbed.
What is this world coming to when professional advice columnists are suggesting that women let their boyfriends role play raping them?
That is so far from Godly Christian morality I don’t know what to say, and yet that is the prevailing advice this very day in papers around the country.
There is light and there is darkness. There is wisdom and there is ignorance. And the farther from God’s truth we get, the further into darkness and ignorance we plunge.
God have mercy on us.
May God bless you today! With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.
You can read the advice column for yourself here, and feel free to leave your own comments: http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/no-need-to-fear-rape-fantasies.html